When you hear the words “stay at home mom,” what comes to mind? With the majority, I feel as if those words have a stigma attached to them. Many may think that stay at home moms do not work as hard as the moms that go back to work, they’re lazy, etc. Being a stay at home mom now, I would have to completely disagree with that statement and say we work just as hard.
I never knew being a stay at home mom could be so tough. Between the cooking and cleaning, watching my son, going grocery shopping, putting him down for naps, doing the laundry, and trying to keep my sanity, I have had many days where I would just break down. I could not do it all. And having to accept the fact that I couldn’t always do it all was also difficult. I started to get sad and lonely. I loved my baby, and still do but finding time for myself was very difficult. Between my son’s nap times, I had to choose between finishing my cup of coffee, which was already cold by then, or doing the dishes or picking up his toys or catching up on laundry, or finally showering.
Sounds gross, I know! But as a stay at home mom with a child under one, taking a shower is no longer those prolonged moments where the warm water trickles down your skin as you soak in the steam. Showering is a one second thing while keeping an ear out if your baby starts to cry. I used to love long showers, as they were my moments of solitude, but now have become more of a chore for me, as I turn the water off every couple minutes to hear if my son is crying, while my husband is out working. Either that or I need to take one at night when I am already tired and exhausted from running around nonstop all day. I crave a bath.
As a stay at home mom, I have had many times where I felt isolated from the world, finding it hard to go out because of my newborn’s schedule. You start to feel social isolation from only talking baby talk and start to crave a mature conversation. Recently now, I have started to miss my job where I worked as an office manager at a chiropractor’s office. But, I know my importance being a stay at home mom, and how some working mothers wish they could spend more time with their children. I need to treasure this opportunity. Or somehow find a balance between the two.
I have started to miss my life of luxury where I could go wherever, whenever, for however long I wanted to. I wouldn’t change having my son, but it’s hard to keep from longing some “freedom.”
I have had times where I would resent my husband for being able to go to work as I imagined him laughing it up with his coworkers while installing floors. Little did I know that he had his own worries, providing for our family.
I will never regret being a stay at home mom due to the relationship and bond I am able to create with my son, but to the world out there that thinks we’re having a time of our lives soaking up the sun with our children, think again.
Nonetheless, I miss having no limitations. Now I just need to find other ways to find some time for myself and prioritize my own sanity over the dishes or the couple of toys scattered on the living room floor. The first few months are the hardest, as I also ran into some complications while breast feeding, which I have shared in another post.
All you mamas out there, can you relate? And comment if there is anything in particular that you would like me to write about or share.